Butterfly

When a caterpillar turns into a butterfly, it has to struggle a lot to get strong wings.. if you help it transition, the wings would be too delicate and it can never fly..

For some reason this thought crossed my mind. If this is true for butterflies & birds and other animals, would it not be true for humans ?

And if it is applicable to humans too, have we become weak and malformed with all the mollycoddling society does today? Technology makes things easier at every step. I remember when I was a kid, I could add, subtract & multiply in my mind , yet now I need a calculator. To gain knowledge, one had to read a lot or depend on peers or elders. Today, at our finger tip, we have all the answers .  To meet a friend, one had to travel to their place. Today, we have so many options. From Facebook to Whatsapp, options galore.. it would follow that keeping in touch would be easier .. and yet, we are ill informed, struggling with maths & out of touch with most our friends. Could it be that like butterflies, our wings do not have the strength & as a society we are collapsing?

Should we then go back to simpler times ?

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Broken

I have great affinity to brokenness. Some days it’s me that broken and other days I collect brokenness . Broken things and broken people.

Is it that there are too many of them in this world or that the brokenness in me attract these people?

I read it in some novel that Japanese ppl take great care with broken beautiful things. They patch these broken things with gold to enhance it’s value. How then can we enhance value of broken people?

Often I find myself saying the wrong things , in an effort to not pity, I end up hurting them. At others, I avoid uncomfortable situations.

I wish I had the power to heal them. If not, at least to not hurt.

These days , I feel myself to be so inadequate and yet, there are some who think I made a difference to their life. May be I am not so bad at it after all. Why then do I feel this way?

May be it’s time someone made an effort to fill my cracks with gold

Murphy’s law

I don’t get this! The person I wanted in my life desperately found it easy to step away from life. He has never tried to be part of my life even as a friend. I can accept that. It is sad but it’s his choice and I accept it.

What I find so difficult to accept is presence of these other characters who can’t stop declaring their love for me and their constant attempts to be part of my life.

Why is this logic all so twisted?

Surprised

The other day, I went to a Sri sri store that recently opened and signed up for a naadi chikitsa aka an ayurvedic way of body check usually done by reading your nerves ? Blood flow ? I don’t exactly know how to translate that correctly.

Anyhow, I signed up only as a curiosity however, the doctor there could so accurately guess my state of mind and a lot of my problems, both mental & physical that I was suprisingly amazed!

So I spent like 1k in getting the meds she suggested. I shall update in a month how effective this was.

Toodles!

Resolutions

The season of resolution making has passed, I know that…  But WordPress reminded me today that it’s been a decade since I have blogged on this platform and I am feeling so many things, thinking so many thoughts that I just had to note a few points down! This is also my attempt to go back to simpler times when my blog used to be a conversation!

I visited my blogger site today. After all this while, I still haven’t deleted it. I am glad that I could go back to the very first post of mine.  The easy tone of the post resonated with me a lot, hence the first resolution today is

✓ Get my shit together and write. The things I feel the need to talk about with someone, I am going to try and post them here. Shall become prolific as of old

Going through the blogs & the comments I realized how lucky I was, to have people visit & interact with me on a regular basis. It is a shame that I didn’t value them enough and lost touch with them . So my next resolution is :

✓ Appreciate and keep in touch with people who spend their time filling my life with positive energy. Shall never take them for granted

After reading the blog for sometime, I ended up reading my old emails. A few of them made me chuckle, reminded me of long forgotten songs & poems. I want to build a similar network again. I want people to share things they read & loved with me. So the next resolution is

✓ Being proactive within the blog community. Pick up prompts & read more blogs

 

In addition, I want to add a dash of creativity in my life. A poem, a small crafty stuff, a photo or a random doodle. I shall try them all regularly!

 

Hopefully, this is an advent of a decade more of blogging!!

 

Dear you

Dear you,

I am surprised by how callous I am of your feelings! Are you surprised? Sometimes, I feel like I reach out when I have a need and ignore when I don’t.

I wonder then, why is it that you still stick around. Through all my mood swings and indifference.

Is this love?

Musingly not yours,

Winnie