Me ready for the 3rd post of the day he he he !
Here the post wont be as long! moi righting more for meself than others!!!
in fact others buzz off!!
i am really trying to figure out what is love?
y the heck did i give it so much importance?? it makes no sense! it is a weak emotion.. makes u lose perspective of yourself! gives u an illusion of being a princess when in actuality all u really r is a frog!!
An ugly toad!!
Moi sister says i have a poor self image! so much that i want external support to make me feel good!
but then y is feeling good emphasized?
I mean most of our life is spenbt in feeling bad but feeling good is given more emphasis!
May the elusive quality..
Speaking of which, i am tired of this fucking humane quality!! the more the thing is elusive the more u want it! y?
For eg. when amit kept pestering me all i wanted is him to let me alone…
and then he calmed down.. n i wanted chat again…. n in a day moi feeling frustru again!
y do i want the unwantable?
now thats weird whats unwantable?
well i dont want him in my life…
then y do i agree?
his tenacity in asking???
Or moi may be a real bitch like to keep a bush in a hand ?
Till i get a better one keep this guy lurking?
Am i tht cold? can i be that devious? possibly but probably?
Y am i talking abt amit?
well coz he is not so much out of my mind as i think..
I had this weird dream!
I wanted to meet him.. not in my dream.. in my dream he was back from USA coming to meet me…wanting to meet me.. and me completely changed as he is…
Moi turned into a siren n he into a sophisticated version of himself still pining for me LOL!
n moi not in love wid him at all…
Moi going to meet him fleeting moi false “decency”(cant believe how much that comment stil stings) And then there flaunts my newest love lol!
there comes sadism!
i want him to feel pain that moi loves someone else!
isnt that sick?
prolly i am sick!
and real sadistic!
dont know for sure.. or may be its a cook book recipe of tired over wrought brain.. but it shook me to the core!
guess shud stop it now!