Being a woman…..

Just today I had a talk with my much married friend, when after usual how ares and how dos.. I asked her about when she will start finding a job. She told me that she is already looking and that most of them are in Andheri and et al ( she lives in Dombivili so is quite far.. but much under 90 min of travel) and she is not allowed to take employment that far.

I was intrigued by the choice of words. I do u\s that the distance is far and it makes sense that she doesnt travel much and yet.. after much digging i realized that given a choice she would love to go.. but she had no choice. And at that, she had a love marriage. I wondered how harder it would be even today for women in arranged marriages to start working.

I was but ofcourse a bit miffed and well a bit irritated by our society.. but then as i was discussing with other friend of mine.. this discrimination though more pronounced in India is prevalant all over the world.

I wonder.. why.. for centuries together in every part of the world.. were women supressed? Amd yet revered as godesses

This paradox eludes me! there has to be some reason why this is so prevelant all over the world!

And just now I read the post about this lady who is willing to sacrifice her child to save her marriage ( which incidentally is not important to the guy at all) .. with such people still existing.. is there any hope for Β equality..

As an aside I wonder what the lady thinks.. does she thinks she will be praised as a true ” Bharatiya Nari” ?

Or will the child blame its mom for being so weak ? for not being an ideal mom ?

I wonder if that lady is even thinking. I hope whatever she does.. she has strength to face the consequences.

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18 thoughts on “Being a woman…..

  1. Uh huh! Ladies like these still exist?

    500? whoo! That’s a lotta posts mon ami! Good on you mate!
    Keep ’em coming!

    Me: More than you know πŸ™‚ May be around you too

  2. That’s pathetic isn’t it? I have a friend that thinks similarly too — that once she is married she can’t work too far from her house. (She doesn’t even have a guy on the cards yet but this is something her own parents have recommended!)

    And it’s interesting that you have noted it exists all over the world — I think that’s true as well. I’m the only Indian in my bunch of friends here and I am more for women’s equality than any of my girl friends. Yes, they work and probably would work wherever they wanted once married — but some of the conversations we have make me think in the end, they would do as their husband/partner says. As an example, there’s one girl whose husband wanted to have a baby a year after marriage — and she is now already expecting despite the fact that she only just started working in the field last year.

    Me: I know. What I dont understand is why.. I was recently reading this book that was about some greek fellas ( the guys who introduced democracy) and they treated their women like shit or oracles.. but well thats as good as being godesses.. or romans.. or English.. or chinise.. Japs.. take any civilizations.. females r and were exploited! Its got nothing to do with “our” culture.. any religion.. be it muslim or christianity.. ah!!

  3. dont worry Winnie… all I can say is times are changing and equality wont be a dream

    ME: That is one consolation πŸ™‚

  4. You are absolutely right!!! Incidents like these are saddening and specially because these things are being done by the educated people.

    If our eduation can not change our views then nothing else can.

    ME : Education is a loosely used word here.. what we get is litracy.. how many of us is truely educated?

  5. hm.. interesting… wht is with marriage and then guys suddenly decides that they need to curtail the freedom of their wives? hope she is able to find a job soon…

    Me: You being a guy answer that πŸ˜›

  6. ‘she is not allowed to take employment that far.’ Allowed to!!!

    ‘I wonder.. why.. for centuries together in every part of the world.. were women supressed? Amd yet revered as godesses’ – such a paradox! Isn’t it?

    Things like this happen in love marriages too – especially where the girl is expected to do that ‘extra bit’ because the in-laws agreed to the ‘love marriage’!!! It is seriously the worst possible situation.

    I do hope she is able to get a job and become independent.

    Me: I hope so too *sigh*

  7. I thought there were more openings in the central side than the western one. Lot of opportunities in places like Mahape, Vikhroli and other areas as far as I know.

    Yeah, that’s the funny part of marriage for a girl, I guess it would be a reasonable point if she has kids but if not then it all thanks to our old beliefs where a women should be home before night.

    I don’t think it would be right to generalize, I have been reading a book where the author talk about institutions not able to impart character education in order to prepare for life, instead giving literal education which has no value. I can know understand the emphasis!!

    As for the lady, its one of the bitter prejudices that has been carried on without being questioned. Lets hope everything works out well for her.

    Me: She has no kids. and I am not generalizing it at all. I know we have come so far from the earlier days.. but what bugs me .. is the motive.. why such a disparity ? You make certain rules and then curse someone for following them? Makes no sense no ?

  8. Ultimately, it is about the last sentence in your post… man or woman.

    On a lighter note, there are at least three ‘much-es’ in your post. :P.

    Me: he he he .. I agree thats the bottom line.. man or woman πŸ™‚

  9. I faced the same problem…but then in my case I agreed with my spouse:
    one, I hated travelling
    two, I had kids whom I had to consider
    three he was of the same opinion

    …so maybe there is a chance she agreed with her husband πŸ™‚

    ME: Nance.. she wasnt happy with it. If she agreed it wouldnt be about “allowing”

  10. What I notice sometimes Winnie the Poohi is how some women seem to take pide in the way they are ‘allowed’ or ‘not allowed’ something by their husbands, they love the authority they thus give to their husbands.

    Me: Eesh! I know 😦 I think I won’t fit into the traditional wife role ever!

  11. It is baffling na Winnie?
    To think that this still happens today?
    that this kind of a mentality survives and infact flourishes? 😦

    And not in some distant village but in metros 😦

    Sometimes all I can say is WTF!! 😦

    Me: I know! I am so exasperated that I want to close my eyes like a cat.. you know.. but well its not gonna go.. if I do! What to do!

  12. Sigh. And it simply goes on, no matter that one has a way out, and no matter one has a voice…
    😦

    Me: Don’t be disheartened. It might work out someday πŸ™‚ *hugs*

Humor me please? *winks*

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