I wrote and rewrote this post many times and yet I find it hard to express what I really wanna say. In fact, I stumbled thousand times on the epithet to call you with and finally settled on this totally abstract word ‘ A friend’ but you are that and lot more… and yet a friend the foremost.
Now, I am not going to indulge with memories , with things said and did, the walk in the rain, late night chatter, the kind of connection I havent felt since college .. and yet, how could I not hold them all close and cherish ?
I will do all that and more.
My heart wants to reiterate right now that this is not a good bye letter and yet, it is that. Isn’t it ?
Can’t help being in a black mood and say.. things are never going to be same again and yet, this crazy heart says, it never was. Things change, people change. Even memories change. With time they fade and become rosy… but what remains are bold bold features.. that define us.
Memories. Mine would always hold you and urs mine.
So this is a good bye in kind.
No late night chats. No calls. No meeting during week, weekends.
No visits to blossom together. No crazy walks.
No sharing books. No more scolding you.
Ah yes that. Did you know you are the only person I can scold without worrying about if I hurt you or not.. I dunno why.. I dont even scold my sis like that. But you…
There have been times when we might have really hated you. There are times like you said.. I wondered if this was it.. if this was the end or may be the plateau of our relationship , if it would wither away.. and yet, like a wily creeper, we always found a way out of the tangle, found a way to still be friends, confidantes.
Remember the day we met first ? In bru ha ha .. talking non stop.. trying to out talk each other.. drifting from topic to topic like on fire..
OR the days of Boca Grande..
Ah.. I didnt mean it to be so sad.. but .. I guess its easy to write about sadness.. somehow.. i dunno why..
Its not like.. I wont have other friends, not have fun. Its not like you would disappear from life.. or that we will never meet again.
But it stays that…
We would never be same……
P.S: No wonder I will never send this letter to you!