I have spent past 15 minutes thinking how I should spend the remaining 1 hour of work. And I could come up with nothing.
So yes, I did turn back to blogging. If you are wondering what I did all these months… do not ask.. for I do not know. There was some or the other person to chat with. Movies to be watched. Yes that. Watched most of the recent movies. Those who didnt know me before would agree that I am indeed a movie buff.. but my first love would always remain books and yet, I havent read any good books lately. Just riffraff. Perhaps the reason why I cant seem to write or have any new ideas. Or perhaps they are nothing but excuses.
In truth, I have missed.. missed writing. I had almost abandoned this blog post, like so many other blog posts. For some reason, the words come upto my very finger tips and choke up.
I am able to squeeze them out only at the moment of lucid pain. Ah yes.. lucid pain as in the moment when I can feel nothing but pain, my words flow through. In that case, you have indeed done me a favor. And yet, this is not enough. Not enough by long shot. My creativity is still at its driest phase.
I remember once, I was afraid to stop writing. And I was right to be afraid. Perhaps, I am never meant to be satisfied with life. For when I am , I loathe to write. Rather, writing loathes me and words wont come out. Its only misery that wets the altar of word hmm?
Well I am so not going to let these rules dictate me!
So I have decided, come what may, I am going to blog and not just every day, I shall blog as much as I can and catch up with the NaBloPoMo and complete the 30 day 30 posts with the rest of the crowd. I am not going to tell this to anyone. It is going to be my personal penance . Well weird isn’t it writing it here and keeping it a secret ? Well who is going to stumble here? hmm?
Mayhap, few wonderful people who still manage to stumble upon this space regularly. God knows I do nothing to encourage them. Neither follow their blogs as I used to nor reply to their comments. May be thats the mistake I did. If I had followed their blogs, I would still find some inspiration somewhere. Its not like there weren’t enough prompting sites around.. However, writing has always been a personal thing and not being able to fall upon it was depressing.
Whether or not, I am able to write a story or a poem, I can always fall upon my self obsession and come up with a decent length of post no ?
May be thats what I should do. Write, no matter that. So very like old times then.
And best of luck to me blogging 😀