Tiny tottering steps

What did you think you would be when you were a kid? Did you become what you think you would? When I saw this prompt ( for June 1 btw) On NabloPoMo , I couldnt help but grin… and grin widely.. For this is a topic I have a lot to talk about!

Like any imaginative kid, I went through a lot of phases of what I wanted to be. I distinctly remember one evening.. And I was 5. No am not kidding.. I remember it. All of us tiny tots were standing and rehersing for the question.. “what is your ambition in life” I remember my then best friend Diveta, smugly saying, she will be a doctor, like her dad. And I remember wondering.. what is it that I wanted to become. I had never given it a thought. And when my chance came I said, ‘Umm I wanna be a grown up’ . And I am not anywhere closer to that yet.

After being a laughing stock of all the kids in Std I , div A’ , ( Ah well !) , I finally decided to be a doctor.. like my best friend.

Then, as it happened, Famous Five entered in my life, and there was nothing I wanted to become as ardently as You guessed it! A Detective ( not to mention the influence of Tehkikaat and Raaja and Rancho!) There was a brief period when I wanted to be an actress. My mom was actually afraid I would become one. Coz well, erm, I used to look into the mirror and make faces oh and I could cry at will for no reason at all.

During my early teens, I happen to know about two of my illustrious cousins, of whom my dad was very proud. And since loved science, and those days , I used to be interested enough.. so I wanted to be a scientist. By the time I reached 12th grade, I wanted to be a mathematician!

I swear I would have taken B Sc. Maths, if it wasn’t for my sis who issued books for Ty BSc Maths and showed me. She knew I hated theory and reading theory for Maths is sacrilage ( btw I no longer claim to be as good in maths!)

Funnily enough, being a doctor was not even an option by the time I reached my high school. I didnt even give the CET that most ppl give by default, just to keep the options open and all.

The only reason I wanted to do Engg was coz it has maths. And I was afraid of ED and it was well founded. I just passed ED with barely 40/100 . However, I wanted to be in Mechanical Engg and not Computers! I dont remember the reason why I was adamant to choose Mechanical Engg… but I know the reason why I chose Elec n Telecomm. Because I got the seat and Dad refused to get me admission in Mech oh and timely reminder about ED from sis.

The sad part is.. after being so hell bent about not being a ‘computer engg’, I found I am quite good with programming. And yet, I am not working as software engg. I am now working as a Tech supp. and briefly enough worked as a computer tech for windows.

While in college, me and this other friend of mine, had vague dreams about starting our own firm. To be honest, even in college, I always nourished a dream of may be doing some research. That was something that attracted me to programming. Something you can create . But ofcourse its moot point that I never explored that avenue at all. ( and dont ask why!)

One would think, now after 5 years out of college, I would now know what I want to be. But no, even today I have no clue.

Of late, I have been thinking I want to be a writer, a freelancer at least and then I want to somehow find time to volunteer full time.

But this is just the surface thingy.. If I was to be completely honest.. I am yet that 5 year old kid, who simply wants to be a ‘Grown up’

….. And I am no where near being one!


8 thoughts on “Tiny tottering steps

  1. Why be in a hurry to grow up? Enjoy remaining ‘not a grown up’ as long as you can 🙂 I feel it’s important to to keep growing all your life and of course doing what makes you happy. 🙂

    ME: Errr. I am not sure what makes me happy 😀 I was sure as a kid. Now am not 😀

  2. Aah… a lovely lovely post… !!! you know I almost was seeing myself here somewhere… another guy who has shifted what he wanted to be… bout Famous five !!!! sigh… I so wanted to be a detective… !!!!! and also guzzle bottles of lemonade and eat sandwiches like they would while on trails !!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 those were the days… I also wanted to be a Phantom !!!! run away to Africa and build my empire… with the ab-origins and animals !!!! not to mention wanting to be a run away like Tom Swayer and Huckleberry Finn !!!!!!

    Sigh… !!!!

    And meenu… even today… I havent, like you, any clue about who I want to be… actually … in this rat race of life I now cant even think or dare try to be something I would like to be 😐

    Me: I know I know!! I wish though I knew what I want to settle for.. if not reach out for.. *hugs*

  3. who wants to be a grown up… i am still a kid… age doesnt matter 😛
    nostalgic post… I had some weird dreams and ambitions… and they still apeal to me… more than what I am doing today 🙂 lovely post 🙂

    Me: I know exactly what you mean! Go get your dreams if you will!

  4. As a child, I always thought when one grows up they become more mature, understanding but it was only later that I realize that when one grows up they only age unless they learn from their experiences.

    Guess what I am still learning 🙂

    Me- Indeed!

  5. i always wondered what is the link in b/w …now i got t answer because its same for me except i want peace instead of growing up

    Me: Peace is a state of mind. If you mean world peace.. its an illusion.

Humor me please? *winks*

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