I am a tormented soul. And this torment I cant seem to fight against. For it is I that torment me! Its like a whirlpool of opposite forces. And yet the forces are unseen; un-felt until their consequences overwhelm me. It would have been easier if I could identify this force.
Sometimes it feels like I am hiding from myself. My feelings abstracted in a way that I am not longer sure what is it that I actually feel. There is this pool of lassitude that wants to drown me. An escape I dare not take. What if its not an escape but a prison in itself. Self contained as a vast sky and yet limited by me.
And there are times when the whole gamut of emotions race through me like a storm and all that’s left is this frothy mess that I can’t identify myself. It would have been easier to go along but am afraid of what lies at the other side. Insanity.