Sometimes, its more than obsession. Sometimes it still is not love. Some people have a way of getting under your skin. Most of the times, you dont even know that they have. This is a good phase.
Once the veil is lifted , it is hard not to accept and it is hard to let go.
I dont even let myself write your name. Do you know that? There is a certain kind of madness in tyipng them out. Each mention is a step down the abyss. And yet, there is a perverse pleasure in losing oneself this way. It is a gift that only I can give myself. An indulgence that is intoxicating.
The sane part of my mind sees it for what it actually is. A depravity. But it hardly has any say when it comes to my actions.
And then again in an absurd contrariness, I write to you.