What does one do when one is lost in one’s own “losing” ?

I stumble as I climb, as I get down. I dont know if I am climbing or alighting anymore. It would be easier to stop, but I no longer know what stopping is.

What does one do when one question’s one core and find it a fake?

I scramble through my much fond musings and find nothing to be fond about. I take my sadness and find nothing to be sad about. I glory in my happiness and then find there was nothing to be happy about.

I surprise myself with smiles as often as I do with tears. And yet, I find no reason for either.

I find myself quite unreasonably reasonable. Quiet in quite a noisy way.

What does one do when one unravels the questions and find oneself grasping for straws to answer.. and failing at that.

I find myself quite unquestionably lost and yet, I have no idea why, wherefore or how I am lost.

I am here and yet not. I am….


yet… not…


Who am i?


Rather what am I?



Sometimes I wonder… am I ?


I am so many adjectives, so many metaphors, mine and others, so many nouns, fond and quite forgotten,Ā  that I no longer am familiar with this unshakable, quite easily transferable, a much definitive pronoun I.

Interestingly, for someone who is so lost, I use a lot of “I”.



8 thoughts on “Lost

  1. You are posing one of the most essential questions many have philosophised about … but I fear no one could answer it sufficiently. I often think this question – when we are concerned personally – keeps us going round in circles that lead nowhere. Nowhere but to other frustrating – as unresolvable – and depressing questions like “What’s the meaning of (my) existence?” etc.
    The universe frightens us with these questions and with ourselves sometimes. I imagine once you have found your soulmate these questions will lose some of its scare and you will look at them in a more philosophical way. Because then the world has found its centre, if I may say so.
    P.S. I fear I lost myself in banalities …

  2. Losing oneself is the sure way to find oneself; for how can you find something if it has not been lost.
    And these questions will keep growing for as we learn ourselves, we change ourselves until we find that we do not recognise ourselves again.
    A vicious cycle? Or just life? Or is it a part of growing up that we all do?
    Beautifully written as always, this post really made my day for the way it caught my attention and diverted me from a long day at work šŸ™‚

Humor me please? *winks*

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