Dear you

You are a broken record that supersedes all other broken record. Or may be its me that is broken. When did I becomes this collection of broken stories ?


Quite brokenly, not so much yours but not myself anymore,


This night….

Come sit with me a moment.

Wrapped in the silence of this night, lets rediscover ourselves. Do not heed the alarm bells

Dawn is long way still.


for the night is young and our youth might be slipping away … a little at a time.

On the office desks, in front of the computers and laptops, in formal shoes and flip flops, life is drifting away

a little yours, a little mine.


lets dither. Oh please come hither for tomorrow doesn’t hold sway. Not yet, any way!

This night.

For a moment , wrapped in silence. Just stay.

Dear you to the nth power!

Dear you,

It is interesting how I keep coming back to you every few weeks. Even if I have nothing to say. Even if I know all there is to know. I keep coming back. You are like that grey sky in the evening skyline. Everyone is looking at the bright lights made more prominent by the contrast. I am guilty of it as well. And yet, every once in a while, I return to dwell in your abstract.

It is sad as well, how these muted tones that I once so fondly cherished are now ravaged. And like all other evenings, this too will be discarded in the light of the day. And the evening skyline will hide, bide its time with me and wait, for that uncertain dawn to glitter again. Perhaps for the last time.

Despondently yours,


Dear you,

Dear you,

Do you want to know the words that’s making rounds in my head ? It keeps going “Stupid bitch Stupid bitch” on the loop! I dont always resort to swear words but in this context you deserve this and more. How the hell did you emerge back into my life ? I thought I had see the last of you… gone.. done and dusted. And here you stand…. is that a smug expression on your face ? Is it because I did not sing an eulogy for you ? Do you know why I didnt ? Its coz I hoped against the worst possible outcome that some day… someday.. you could live in peace with me, in me.  And yet, here you stand! What am I to do with you?

Why in the hell did you go and contact him ? How could you act normal and smile and exchange pleasantries…  WITH HIM????!!!!! That is just not done. What will I do now ?

Not so happy with you anymore,


Dear you

Did you know that I keep having conversations with you in my mind ? It generally is more of a monologue. I am so glad that you can never hear them expressed. I wonder though.. are you the one that got away ? or may be the one that never really came in my way ? This is for all of yous in my dear yous btw.

I wonder why you came when you did. I wonder why you all disappeared and more importantly, did I finally learn all that I needed to ? I know this though– I have grown as a person, more comfortable with my skin, with my life and in general content.

So may be I did learn all that I needed to.

In that case does that mean that the era of  ‘dear yous’ is over ?

Then may be the next ‘dear you’ the real deal might finally enter my life ?

The one who is meant to stay…

Or may be, no ‘dear you’ is needed any more and this

‘dear me’

is just


Self lovingly mine,



I cant help but keep wondering about these questions that swirl through my mind. Cant help but be caught unawares with these thoughts. What do I do with my why and wherefores that seem to pile up ? Answers that seem to be right there and yet so elusive.

I know it is not healthy or fruitful to dwell on these things. I know that its better to let go.. but I wonder sometimes… why is so hard to do all the things that are good for us ?


When i think of you…..

Dear you,

When I think of you, I do not think of them funny jokes that always end in wanton kisses or the accidental touch that run down a current through my spine. Nor do I think of that lazy afternoon in the back seat of a theatre spent mostly in not watching the movie.

I do not think of the unused tickets or the lush green evening spent in circles or the starry strawberry nights in front of the golden campfire.

When I think of you,  I think of the searing heat curling up my toes and enveloping me in its warmth.

Warmth trickling down like chocolate and melting memories into a luminescent  glow.


Thoughtfully yours,