Its like us, this memory of yesterday. A bit faded, a bit jaded ( some times). Almost forgotten.
Its like us, this memory of togetherness. A bit threaded, a bit careworn ( shredded). Almost apart.
What do I do with this lynchpin of all my almosts ?
There is a thin line between caution and paranoia , pessimism and pragmatism.. And often it gets blurred. How do you draw a line?
Is it really jaded of me to ask proof? Is it really mean / absurd/ sad of me to want one before I trust?
I faced a situation today that made me question myself.. Is it better to trust and be betrayed than to not trust and lose out on something that could be wonderful?
Where exactly do we draw the line?
Once i used to know the answer. Now I wonder.
Fit me in to the edited world of words. I don’t belong here. Script me into a colorful mayhem of irreverent letters. Slip me between the lines and hide my meaning.
Let my body be my confession. Let the words, sickly words, that I dont think of, find expression, find voice where all voice subside. Let my heart do the talking. While I borrow words from others and wait for the “catastrophe of my personality” to turn interesting again, let me put apostrophe in life, right where it belongs. Mine.
My life starts here. This is where it all ends.
Let my body bear witness.
It is my apology and my forgiveness. My atonement and my redemption.
Perhaps, some day, I’ll let someone read it.
I wonder if I envy you, all the memories that we shared, as I stare at the mess that we’ve made, by having this party for two.
It is good that some words, wordlessly die between the warm folds of the twisting tongue. They are not meant to see the light of the day. Hidden in the shadows, they haunt the long hours of the night.
Are you my dark cloud or the silver lining? I wonder.
Does the dark cloud hold promise of silver lining
is it the silver lining that holds dark clouds from dissipating ?
And when it rains, where does the lining go ?
Why is it that no one worries about the silver lining.. when all of us want to hold onto the promise of it.
May be then you are my silver lining.. then why is it that I worry about the promise that you dont hold ?
How many times have you come across something that made you curious and thought.. may be not now.. I’ll look in when I find time? But that’s just it. You never do. There is always something more important, more urgent, may be something more interesting to do until you forget what it actually was, that you wanted to do.
One fine day you wake up and feel.. bored.. listless.. and may be lost. And you wonder.. where all the Joie de vivre went from your life. And that’s exactly why its important to pause a min to enjoy life while you still can.
So here I am doing just that. I promise myself that I’ll blog every day.. consistently.. even if its just two lines.. even if I am too busy / too tired/ too stressed or involved with something else.
Lets see how long this lasts
And if you wonder how this came about.. umm there are multiple factors.
A. I read an article about how people payed $100 per seat to listen to a musician while they didnt even bother wait for a moment when he played on the road. We do not recognize beauty in every day life. Ergo, I need an incentive to do so.
B. I be quite stressed and I need an outlet
C. Creativity is needed
D. I read an article about how time slips by and all you are left with is regret. And one thing I dont want to regret is.. not writing..
E. Oh yeah.. Prats dared me in way.. she said.. I should at least try.. so here’s me trying
F. Frankly, I could do with some new experiences.. which you subconsciously look for when you have to blog every day
G. Need more patience.
H. Hoping that by doing something am more inclined towards
I. Inspired by pink socks
J. I wanted to blog. Thats it.
If I walked to you, out of nowhere,
With a bedazzled smile, blind you for a moment.
While you try to catch your breath,
what if I steal closer,
feel your heart beat thudding under my palm
and gently kiss you.
What would you do then..
If I walked away from you, out into the “nowhere“
When you are so tired of saying good byes in so many different ways. In need of a desperate hello from someone new.